Ah ja!
Was quite productive at work today. Well, with my own shite. Didn't actually do much work, as usual. I did, however, do all of my algebra, finish that book I found last week, take a 40 minute nap and buy another book. The new one is by Anne Rice. Vittorio. I don't think it'll be as good as the vampire chronicles, but that'd be a lot to expect.
Anton called me at work today. After I had already talked to him. I knew he was at work. It was weird. He doesn't seem much the conversationalist.
So apparently I lost my virginity on August 8th, 2004. I just read an old email. I couldn't've told you that if my life depended on it. I was thinking, providing I get to see Jason this month, about making cupcakes and taking one over to his house and telling him happy one year...or something. We've been...having sex for a year. Lmao. Funny. Even when (dear God this makes me sound terrible) I was having sex with Nathan (Alex) and Wes. Of course he didn't know. And if I'm not mistaken I had sex with Nathan before I slept with Jason. I don't know for sure though, it seems like forever ago. In fact I was just thinking about how Nathan leaving and me being all depressed seems like it was a different life. Not just...*counts* like six months ago. Wow. Six months ago. That's it? Wtf. It has been a very long year. But I feel as though I have matured a lot.
There are so many things I want to say. To everyone. To apologise for being so selfish sometimes. When I get into those stupid fuck the world phases. I want to tell Nathan everything I haven't for fear it's too much. I want to tell him that I would cross the world for him. That he means more to me than I want to admit to myself (as if it didn't show in the way I pester). So much to say and I can't. Lack of...something I guess.
Boys have always been a weakness of mine. I wonder if it'll always be that way. I become smitten with one and would give the world to please. I see the good in everyone. It's quite a problem because I have the potential to fall in love with just about anyone. I've gotten a lot better about it. Nathan told me that I look different. I do believe he said my eyes were different. Jaded, almost.
Jaded:
Verb Inflected forms: jad·ed, jad·ing, jades. Verb
tr. To wear out, as by overuse or overindulgence. Verb
intr. To become weary or spiritless.
I feel as though there is something more important I need to write. Something that I need to say. I am blank.
Anton called me at work today. After I had already talked to him. I knew he was at work. It was weird. He doesn't seem much the conversationalist.
So apparently I lost my virginity on August 8th, 2004. I just read an old email. I couldn't've told you that if my life depended on it. I was thinking, providing I get to see Jason this month, about making cupcakes and taking one over to his house and telling him happy one year...or something. We've been...having sex for a year. Lmao. Funny. Even when (dear God this makes me sound terrible) I was having sex with Nathan (Alex) and Wes. Of course he didn't know. And if I'm not mistaken I had sex with Nathan before I slept with Jason. I don't know for sure though, it seems like forever ago. In fact I was just thinking about how Nathan leaving and me being all depressed seems like it was a different life. Not just...*counts* like six months ago. Wow. Six months ago. That's it? Wtf. It has been a very long year. But I feel as though I have matured a lot.
There are so many things I want to say. To everyone. To apologise for being so selfish sometimes. When I get into those stupid fuck the world phases. I want to tell Nathan everything I haven't for fear it's too much. I want to tell him that I would cross the world for him. That he means more to me than I want to admit to myself (as if it didn't show in the way I pester). So much to say and I can't. Lack of...something I guess.
Boys have always been a weakness of mine. I wonder if it'll always be that way. I become smitten with one and would give the world to please. I see the good in everyone. It's quite a problem because I have the potential to fall in love with just about anyone. I've gotten a lot better about it. Nathan told me that I look different. I do believe he said my eyes were different. Jaded, almost.
Jaded:
Verb Inflected forms: jad·ed, jad·ing, jades. Verb
tr. To wear out, as by overuse or overindulgence. Verb
intr. To become weary or spiritless.
I feel as though there is something more important I need to write. Something that I need to say. I am blank.
posted by Danielle @ 4:26 AM
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