Dreams

I had a terrible dream this morning. I called Jason three times in one day. He answered his phone the third time and said "What? What do you want?" I told him I just wanted to talk to him, I hadn't in so long. "It was so urgent it couldn't wait for a decent time?" "no...i..." He began to yell at me. Told me to stop bothering him. He asked me a lot of questions and I made attempts at answers, which only consisted of two to three words sheepishly spoken. I began to cry. I was crying hard. I didn't know what to do. I woke up.
I don't know why this dream bothers me so much. I did talk to Jason last night. I also did call him twice yesterday. Once in the morning to apologise for the drunk dialing, then in the evening so he would get the hint to call me. He said that there's a lot of potential for change at the moment. In the next two months he might be leaving the state. He doesn't know yet. If he leaves, I'm never going to hear from him again. I know this. It bothers me and doesn't all at the same time. He's never really let me in. I don't know what he thinks, I don't know what he really likes to do, I couldn't tell you what his favorite kind of beer is, I honestly know nothing. I do know that there's nothing there. I'm not going to fool myself, there never really has been.
I have very mixed emotions about everything. I did however tell him that if he does leave, I wish him luck.
I kind of feel like crying. It's not because of this, just...want to cry I guess.