Incoherant thoughts

He cares. He had to've. No one can fake caring that much. Can they? I don't know that there was/is a good reason that he hasn't contacted me. I hope he's okay. I want to call him. I want to contact him. A lot. But I cannot go back on my word. I told him to contact me. I'm tired of crying over him. That's what I did too. I would not hear from him, lay in bed and quietly cry to myself. Am I crazy? I really want to call him. Bad. I can't. I know. I said I wouldn't and can't. I love him. I love him so much. That's why I get so upset. Ugh. I don't know. This whole thing makes my head hurt. I just want things to be okay and I want him to be okay and I want us to be happy. Even if we aren't together. More than anything, I just want him to be happy. I hate seeing him upset. I hate seeing him depressed. I want him to get married, get a good job and have little Nathans running around. Maybe they'll even have cute little accents. *sigh* I don't know. All this thinking obsessing is going to kill me.